Eastern Alphabet
by Scarlet Devil Vocaloid
Summary: Inspired by Smash Bros. versions of ABC stories, I decided to make a Touhou version of one. These are NOT 100 words, these are just regular oneshots. ...Wow I suck at summaries. xD Originally titled Eastern Alphabetical Oneshots. Sorry for the funky cover. XD
1. A is for Armpits - Reimu Hakurei

**Hello people of the world, Scarlet Devil Vocaloid here! And I am BACK! I've been dying to do this for a while, so I'm gonna do it now! C: I was originally gonna come back with a Smash Bros. story, but I wanted to do one of those ABC stories. I found doing a Touhou one instead of a Smash Bros. One was easier because there's more characters in Touhou than in Smash Bros. I mean, there's only like 41 characters or something in Smash Bros., and Touhou has like 144. I MIGHT make a Smash Bros. version sometime in the future, but for now, I find just making a Touhou version easier. C: Enjoy! ^-^**

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A is for Armpits: Reimu Hakurei

Reimu had used to be annoyed from her armpits. Everyone around her made fun of her armpits, especially Marisa. But that was normal for Marisa to be like that. Reimu has gotten so used to being made fun of her armpits that she ignores the jokes about her armpits that surrounded her. She remembered back in the old days when nobody made fun of her armpits since her sleeves were attached at the time. Despite being able to block all of the annoying jokes about her armpits, she started getting tired of them. Maybe she could wear her old outfit for once, that way nobody makes fun of her armpits. That outfit always brings back memories of Mima, Shinki, even the day her and Marisa first met. Ah, memories.

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**Sorry if this first chapter is short and crappy. Maybe I should've waited until M and put Memories instead. :/ I'm not trying to make it 100 words like other people do. I plan on making them just one shots, hence the name of this story. If you have some ideas for future chapters, let me know in the reviews. I already have a list going on for the next chapter, but I would like to hear your opinions too! C: When you send in your ideas, put it in this format:**

**(the letter) - (the topic) - (the character)**

**If you wanted to do Cirno for example, you could do something like this: I - Ice - Cirno**

**I do plan on making a Smash Bros. Story again soon, but I just don't know what to write about, that's why I went with making the Touhou ABC story. If you have any Smash Bros. related ideas, can you put that in the review too, please? Man, I really gotta catch up on One by One. Maybe I'll do the next chapter next. I'm not even sure if I want to do it any longer, though, I haven't written ObO in a long time. I realized that there's like over 140 characters to kill and that I should've just stuck with one or two groups instead, for example, Byakuren's Buddhist group of youkai and Miko's group of Taoists. I'm probably gonna have to discontinue it, like a bunch of other stories I discontinued. I actually want to get a story finished for once. I don't wanna have to discontinue this either, so looks like I'm gonna finish a story for once. Bye!**


	2. B is for Books - Patchouli Knowledge

**Hey every, sorry it took so long for me to type this. I'm just being a lazy derp bum as usual. :P Hopefully I'll actually write fanfics more often now. Also, I WAS going to have a contest for Smash Bros. story ideas, but then I suddenly came up with an idea for my Smash Bros. fanfic! But you'll have it read it to get the full details. So...let's begin!**

B is for Books: Patchouli Knowledge

Calm, quiet, peaceful. That's how Patchouli Knowledge likes it. And the best part: no Marisa...or at least no Marisa iyet./i

The library was calm and large like how Patchouli likes it. Having a cramped and tiny library wouldn't help much with her asthma. Plus it would possibly be easier for that witch, Marisa to come in and steal her books with Patchouli having an asthma attack. Scarlet rugs, scarlet walls covered with bookshelves that tend to seemingly go on for miles.

Books. That's how Patchouli likes it.

"Nine thousand five-hundred forty-six, nine thousand five-hundred forty-seven, nine thousand five-hundred forty-...oh devil-cakes, not again!" Koakuma, her apprentice, exclaimed when she spotted a missing book as she was counting them.

Ever since Koakuma and her mistress met that black witch from back as far as over 10 years ago(1), Koakuma always counted the books just to make sure that the black witch, Marisa, didn't steal any of them. Patchouli apparently heard the devil's complaint, and replied,

"Let me guess, her again?"

Koakuma flew over to her mistress, thanks to the wings on her back AND head.

"Sadly, yes, Lady Patchouli." the devil replied as soon as she flew to Patchouli's desk.

Not much covered the magician's desk. All there was is a candle, a snow white teacup filled with tea elegantly sitting on it's matching white plate, and a closed book with a purple bookmark sticking out of it that sat to the right of the cup of tea. It seems that Patchouli was about halfway done with the book, suggesting where the bookmark was.

Patchouli sighed and said to the devil, "Marisa's been stealing books from this library for over ten years now. Hasn't she gotten sick of it?"

Koakuma shrugged and replied to the magician, "I honestly doubt that she will, Lady Patchouli. I mean, if you enjoy doing something for over ten years, that must mean that you'll enjoy doing that for life. In Marisa's case, stealing books from here."

Patchouli's purple eyes stared at the devil's red(2) eyes for about ten second, but then finally sighed and said again, "You do have a point, Koakuma. Who knows how long she'll be stealing books, or stealing things in general?"

"She is only a human, so I'm guessing sixty to eighty years until she dies." the little devil replied.

"Unless she somehow makes herself immortal like that phoenix girl Sakuya met around eight years ago.(3)"

"I honestly don't think she would go THAT far, Lady Patchouli." Koakuma said, earning a slight glare from her mistress.

"I-uh...was just...stating my opinion. My apologies, Lady Patchouli." the devil nervously said as she made a slight bow to Patchouli.

After a slightly awkward silence passed, "Just get back to work." Patchouli commanded.

"Uh, hai(4), Lady Patchouli!" Koakuma exclaimed as she made a second bow to the magician.

The little devil flew back to the bookshelf as she counting at. Patchouli stared at the book she was reading earlier. She picked up the book and got back to read.

"Sixty to eighty years," the magician thought to herself as she read her book. "it's gonna a long sixty to eighty years of dealing with Marisa. Let's just do the best we can, shall we? Let's see how long Marisa will last until her old, human body gives out, like a candle."

**How was that? Was it better this time and more like a oneshot rather than 100 words? Again, hopefully I can write fanfics more often now that my self-esteem (and my life in general) is starting to rise. Slowly, but surely, my self-esteem will rise now that my life is starting to gert back together.**

**(1) This is a reference of how Embodiment of Scarlet Devil was released back in 2002. 2012 - 2002 = 10. ;)**

**(2) Since Koakuma doesn't have an official portrait, I just winged it and gave her red eyes. I'm not the only one that does it, right? XD**

**(3) This references Mokou and how Imperishable Night was released in 2004.**

**(4) If you don't know Japanese, hai means yes, so Koakuma was really saying "Yes, Lady Patchouli". Just had to share that JUUUUST in case. ;)**

**By the way, what's a good footnote thingy to use? I'm typing this on Notepad so that it can actually be submitted to DeviantART. See ya later! :D**

**Oh! One last thing! I feel like this chapter talked more about Marisa than the books. Did the same thing happen to you? Let me know, okays? :3**


	3. C is for Chicken - Mystia Lorelei

**Hey guys, I didn't have the internet for a lil while and I typed this on like Monday, so I figured, why the hell not? I'll just type more chapters and get it done and over with seeing as how quickly I can type these oneshots...nothing else to mention. XD**

C is for Chicken: Mystia Lorelei

Chicken. That one word. That one word had always frightened her and made her have scary thoughts, ones that were scary enough to consider her having wide awake nightmares. Scary thoughts about that ghost girl(1) eating her alive. She was so used to it, seeing as she knew her for over eight years(2), but why? Why did she fear that ghost girl?

"Mystia, are you alright?"

Mystia's eyes were bloodshot. The night sparrow leaned her back up against a tree, her arms tightly hugging her legs as she violently shook. When Mystia fell to her side, everyone around her gasped.

"Mystia, answer me, are you alright?!" Wriggle shouted as she shook the night sparrow.

"She doesn't look so good." Daiyousei worriedly said as she stared at the firefly still shaking the night sparrow.

"Is that so?" Rumia asked happily as she normally is.

Cirno pointed straight at the youkai of darkness, "Definetly not the time!", the ice fairy exclaimed.

"Is...that...so?" Rumia asked.

Mystia started seeing things. Instead of her friends, she started to chicken legs. The night sparrow knew right away that she was growing more and more paranoid. All because of that stupid ghost! Somehow, she was being shaken by a chicken leg. Or at least that's what she was seeing.

"Mystia, it's okay." the chicken leg to Mystia's left said.

The voice sounded distorted and deep. Mystia felt tears crawling down her cheeks. Were these actually fellow night sparrows she was talking to?

"My fellow night sparrows..." Mystia said as her voice cracked. "What have those ghosts done to you?"

"Oh crap, she's going delousional!" Cirno exclaimed worriedly.

"Is that so?" Rumia asked again.

Wriggle, Daiyousei, and Cirno turned to Rumia, glared at her, and exclaimed, "Shut up, Rumia!"

Rumia then made the D: face.

The chicken leg to Mytia's right came up to the night sparrow and spoke to her, "Come on, eat us, we'll keep up a secret."

Suddenly, they started chanting the same thing over and over again. "Chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken, chicken..."

Finally, Mystia lost it. She jumped right up to her feet and screamed to the top of her lungs. She suddenly grabbed after her right wing and tried eating her own wing.

"CHICKEN! MUST EAT MYSELF!" the night sparrow screamed.

"Mystia!" Wriggle exclaimed. The firefly ran over to said night sparrow and grabbed her arm, trying to stop the night sparrow from eating herself.

"Oh no, Mystia!" Daiyousei cried out worriedly.

"Grrrr! Once I get my hands on that ghost, I'm gonna cyro-freeze(3) her! Because I'm the strongest!" Cirno shouted angrily.

Nearby, there was a purple gap. Two heads stuck out of it, one with pink hair and a blue cap and the other with blonde hair and a white cap.

"Oh my God, I know I always go after Mystia, but I never meant for it to go this far." Yuyuko said.

"Are you kidding?" Yukari asked the ghost as she got out a bucket of popcorn. "You went as far as to make her delusional and even make her eat herself! You are AMAZING!"

"You are SO cruel, Yukari." Yuyuko said to Yukari. Said gap youkai grabbed a handful of popcorn.

"I know." Yukari said before putting the whole handful of popcorn in her mouth, taking her hand out soon after. "I already know the answer." Yukari said as she passed the bucket of popcorn to Yuyuko.

"Thanks." Yuyuko said as she grabbed the bucket and literally stuffed her face into the bucket.

**...Wow I suck. This is like the third time I failed at this. Wait, did I do it right this time? I hope so. I have nothing else to say, so...have a nice day/night/whenever you're reading this!**

**(1) By ghost girl, it means Yuyuko.**

**(2) This references when Imperishable night came out, just like in the previous chapter.**

**(3) This references the conversation Cirno and Reimu have before they start fighting in Embodiment of Scarlet Devil.**


	4. D is for Darkness - Rumia

**Hey guys, this was typed on October 9th, still without the internet. But I will have it back on Friday! ...Even though you guys are already reading this by then. Welp, let's begin!**

D is for Darkness: Rumia

Aah, darkness. Oh, how Rumia loved the darkness.

"Is that so?"

Rumia preferred the darkness rather than the light. At least darkness can't hurt your eyes, she would always think.

"Is that so?"

When you think about it, the darkness is actually rather peaceful. Light is just too...wild and bright, whereas the darkness shows a rather calm and peaceful mood.

"Is that so?"

Her dinner always comes out at nighttime, when the unsuspecting human is just simply taking a walk or...whatever they're doing. Not long after, the youkai of darkness swallows the human whole.

"Is that-"

Will you PLEASE shut up for just ONE MINUTE?!

Anyways...despite all of that, Rumia still doesn't know why the humans prefer the light of day over the darkness of night.

**This time I added a hint of humor to this chapter. :3 Prepare to see more come in just a lil bit. ;)**


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